Nothing really to report... just bored and not wanting to go to bed. It's hot and stuffy in my room. Not good sleeping conditions. Even though it's supposed to be 72* right now... it's probably hotter than that in my house.... *runs to thermostat* It's 79* in my house. I guess the wind isn't blowing right to get some cooler air into the windows. Oh well.

I informed my dad last night about my plans to move to St. Louis. He wasn't (still) thrilled about my decision, since I'll be so far away from home and from people who could come and help me if something went wrong... but he understood that I have to go out and do something on my own, and I won't know if I can do it unless I go out and try! Yay! Daddy's growing up! Hehehe. He was even impressed that I had even considered all the problems and all the stuff I have to do if/when I move:

• Change driver's license
• Get new license plates for car
• Change addresses for various bills and other services (Netflix!)
• Get new checks
• Find new doctors, dentists, psychiatrist for medical needs
• Have to do taxes for two states and federal next tax day
• Figure out a way to get my stuff down to St. Louis
• Need to adjust budget to allow for almost $400 to go to monthly rent
• May not get transfer job to local B&N
• Make sure apartment is not in "bad area"

But I think dad has finally come to the realization that I'm 25 years old and I can do things on my own. And if he doesn't really fully agree with them, he can't stop me. I told him to view this as the time when the mother bird pushes the baby bird out of the nest to make it fly. Then he totally skewered that analogy by replying with: "Well, mama birds don't care about their babies. Once they reach a certain age, they just don't care if the baby drops out of the nest and dies of if it flies." I just stood there with my mouth open and went... "Uh... well... yes." I really couldn't argue about that. But it's beginning to look up, since dad's talking about helping me move, when he could do it since he has a lot of bluegrass festivals to be at in August (he plays in a bluegrass band called 'Sotagrass... he's the guy in the back left, holding the banjo). I think with a month of so of planning, we can get it together. I know it's going to be easier to plan when we're leaving once I get back from Portland; I need to ask Kim when she's thinking of leaving and stuff, since her lease is up in August sometime.

Ugh... it's sticky in my room. I may have to pull out my skimpy hot-n-humid summer pjs. Rawr! ^__~ YUCK! And I still have my flannel winter sheets on my bed... yuck yuck yuck. Stupid. It's been nice and cool lately at night, so I didn't mind the little extra warmth the flannel provided... but now it's just humid and stuffy and gross in my room. This afternoon I took a nap, unexpectedly (listening to my sister's book on tape, The Count of Monte Cristo, just made me sooo sleepy!) and I woke up... I swear to God my room and house smelt like Joe's house! That old smell of outside, stale body oder, and animals. Joe's house smelt kinda rank on certain days because of his dog, and the baby kittens had taken to using obscure corners of his house as a bathroom... so it just totally threw me that I was smelling that oder again... and it was uncomfortably familiar. I didn't like it. It brought back too many memories. But thankfully that smell went away after a few minutes. I think it's just time for me to change my sheets! (EEEEWWWWWW!) Hehehe. Anyhoo... ugh. I need to get into cooler clothes... and maybe I'll dig out my cooler summer sheets... or go read some more in my book, Liberty by Kimberly Iverson! It's good! I'm glad it was next on my reading list! And Kimberly, if you find this, thanks so much for the signed cover! Lovely! Great book! Hope to find more of your books! Hehehe.

Okay... I feel gross. I need to go and degrossify.

Hallo and welcome back to my LiveJournal. I'll be your host this evening. Hehehe. It's been a while since I've done a decent update about anything, but there's really nothing to tell. This week has been my first week back to work in over a month. And it's going great! I've been working a bit more on the customer service desk, and kinda getting the hang of that. I have also been doing a lot of register work, which I find I like the best. I don't know what it is about the register, I just like doing that best. I think it's because I can interact with people when they're happy about finding what they want; not being whiny and bitchy when they're asking if we have a book and then find out that B&N doesn't have it. Sorry people, sorry to burst your bubble, but if it's not carried by B&N and I can't order it for you... I can't magically make it appear. Sorry. Go gorge yourself on Ben & Jerry's in the mall to forget your bitchiness. Although being at register has its share of dangers. Some cutsomers are just plain losers. No matter if they find their books or not. And... then you get to see what they're buying and try not to stare and be like... "Uh... really? You're buying this?" Hehehe.

For example: Today I had a young man (maybe around my age) buy a copy of Cosmo's 77 Mind Blowing Kama Sutra Positions book. And an older man (40-50's?) bought 4 magazines... two of which were men's health type mags, and two others were Freshman and Unzipped... two obviously gay magazines. Ick. Not that I hate gay people, but I don't want to see an old man buy two magazines with young, strapping, shirtless men on them. Cuz you know what's going to happen... blech! It's the gay version of Playboy. Which I hate. So yeah. Interesting things at the register. But I also get to see fun things! Wednesday I saw a person I haven't seen in four years! My friend and high school classmate, Gerhardt! WOOOO!!! He was in town from Bagdahd (spelling?) for his sister's wedding this weekend! Holy crap! And the cute thing was, he waited for the person I was waiting on to be done, passing up other free registers to come to mine! Yay! So we chatted for a few minutes, and caught up on some stuff. It was awesome! I was half tempted to run around the counter and give him a hug before he left, but I was overdue at the customer service desk. Grrr. Oh well. And today, I saw another old high school classmate, Renee! Hey jilrani, do you know if Renee H. is engaged or married? Because when she was at my reg, I saw a pretty big shiney ring on her finger, but she signed her receipt with her old last name from high school. You're more up-to-date on the old Mayer scene, any word on that? But Renee didn't recognize me, or if she did, she didn't say anything. Last time people saw me, I didn't have glasses. So yeah. Really cool!

And I know a few of you were concerned about my last post, when I didn't take my Seroquel at the right time. Well, that night was not fun. Tuesday night I did not sleep, and had to work seven hours on Wednesday. Surprisingly I made it through my work day on less than 2 hours of sleep (mostly running off Monday night/Tuesday morning sleep). It finally hit me about 3pm, but then I was done by 5pm, so I was able to survive. But yeah. Not okay. I need my Seroquel. Never not taking it again!! But I think the concert was well worth it. And I kept telling myself all Wednesday that it was my choosing to not take my meds, so I shouldn't complain, because I chose it. So I had no one to blame but myself. The Goo Goo Dolls and Carbon Leaf concert still kicked ass. pyschologizer is awesome! Thank you again! And yes, pictures will be coming soon. My cousin and I stayed longer than we thought we were going to at the concert, since we both had to work the next morning. But by the time we wanted to leave (10pm) the concert was done. But we booked it before the planned encores. I was bummed that I didn't get autographs from Carbon Leaf. I had brought in one of the CD jackets from their Echo Echo album, but we left before the signage. Oh well. And I didn't get a T-Shirt of Carbon Leaf's, but I'm saving my money. I'm not going to get paid until next Friday, so I have to make whatever money I have now last a little longer. Then, as a belated concert present to me, I'm going to buy a T-Shirt of theirs from their online merch store. Hehehe.

So yeah. I think that's all. I'm adjusting well to the life on the bookfloor and being back among "people" again. Last night (Thursday) I hung out with my friends Sarah (from Portland!), Robin, Stacy (from Florida!) and Marcie (Austin, TX!), and others from my days back at CSP. It was fun. Yay! We talked and looked at picture books from all their adventures of traveling to Germany, Ireland, England, Scotland, New York, and a whole bunch others. Made me wonder where my Spain trip pictures are. I need to get them out and scrapbook them! It's been.... uh.... 8 years since that trip... I should finally do something with them!! Hehehe. But that's for another day when I have more money. Hehehe. And I'm liking being around people again. At B&N it's a bit weird, since I've been gone for a month, but no one's really asking why I was gone. They just seem to be glad I'm back. One Tuesday, my first day back, I went and hunted down my Zim Buddy Annie in the receiving room. It was hillarious! I called out her name from the doorway, and she looked up from the books she was unpacking and about died! She squealed my name and ran over to me and threw her arms around me screaming "AAHHH!! I've missed you so much!! Yay! You're BACK!!" It was a great homecoming. ^_^ I've missed her too. But now she's in receiving and not on the bookfloor, so I don't see her as much. But that's okay. She's still there. And I'm making some more friends on the bookfloor now, so that's great. AND I get to work with Tony! *swooon!* Hehehe. He's the cutie bookseller who I've been crushing on from afar in the cafe... but now I get to work with him on the floor! ;) rawr!

All right... I think that's about all for now. Yay! I'm happy! :) And Bonnie and Tom are moving back to Minnesota real soon! I get my Roomie back again!! ^_^

That makes me sad. Now I have to go put more money on it. Loverly.

Tomorrow is my last day at PSJ. I am stoked! I have been feeling "done" about the whole program for about a week now. Last week I only went 2 days because I was doing "transition" days for M, W, and F. And when I was home for those three days, I was bored out of my mind! I actually turned down my own offer to take me to Target! *gasp!* I know! It shocked me as well. Nothing seemed interesting. TV was boring, none of my massive amounts of movies sounded interesting; I didn't want to truck up to the mall and walk around there. So I sat in my house bored. And then I knew I was ready to go back to work and ready to get myself assimilated back into the "real world". I'm excited to be done, because then I can go to work at B&N on the bookfloor and have fun there. But I'm also nervous about being back after a month of being gone. I'm not sure what everyone has been told about why I was gone. A few people who I know (who don't know the real reason why I was gone) came up to me when I visited one day and asked if I was feeling better, and hoped I'd come back soon. And one guy, Travis, who works half books and half music saw me and didn't know I had been gone for a month. He asked if it was for vacation, and I said... kinda, just needed some time off. He understood that and left it at that. So... we'll see what Tuesday brings.

Tuesday is going to be an exciting day! First I'm going back to work, 9-430pm, then after that I have to book it up to Minneapolis to pick up my cousin from work, and then get to Maplewood for the Goo Goo Dolls and Carbon Leaf concert at 730pm at the Myth night club! Woooo! I'm excited! It's going to make Tuesday a long day, but a good day. I know that night I'm going to be tired, so I probably won't need my Seroquel! Ha! I'm still trying to figure that one out, since I need 8+ hours of sleep for the affects to wear off some by the time I wake up in the morning. And I don't want to take the Seroquel while I'm out and about Tuesday night, because it hits me pretty hard after an hour, and then I steadily get goofy after that. So... hmmm. We'll see. I'm sure if I miss one dose it won't kill me. Hehehehe.

Oh, and Saturday was my Night of Celebration that I threw for myself as a "Yay for completing PSJ". It was fun. It ended up being just my sister and her boyfriend Luke, but that was okay. We went to TGIFridays in the Eden Prairie mall. While there, I showed them my fun little poster thing I did last week that was a colorful drawn rendition of 15 of the most important things I learned at PSJ. And I explained them to Jenni and Luke, and they thought it was very informational. Then Jenni and Luke left to go celebrate their one year anniversary of dating, and I went home to watch Underworld: Evolution. That's such an awesome movie! I must buy it when I get money. I rented it (actually it was free because the movie place where I get movies from called and told me I got a free rental on my account!) and watched it. Good stuff! So yeah.

Luke was here tonight helping Jenni study for some plant test she has coming up... and it made me sad. They were being all cute and cuddly and stuff... and I was sad. I miss that. I really want to have a relationship right now! I'm tired of getting the crappy end of the dating stick. I need to meet a great guy and have a good relationship for once. I'm tired of finding guys who are okay for me... but I could do better. If I ended up with them in a long term relationship/marriage, I'd be happy... but not as happy as I should be with someone. I miss that... I miss the cuddling up and watching a movie. Miss just hanging out and being goofy. The long talks about serious things that last for hours. Getting smooshy sappy love notes, letters, emails, etc. after not talking to them for a while... just... yeah. Sharing my life with someone else, and being able to share their life. At times... I hate Jenni and Luke for their relationship, because it's just so perfect; they couldn't have found someone better for each other. And it's sickening. I've never found that person... for if I had... I wouldn't be writing this right now! I'd be with my man having fun! *sigh* Oh well. Maybe this is God's way of saying that a relationship isn't for me right now. I need to get my life a little more on track; even though this has been the most on track and stable I've felt in a long time. Maybe... as a reward... I'll find a good man after my life has been stable for a while longer. Kinda like a behavioral/incentive chart thing. Hehehe.