I have four weeks at most to get "immediate and consistent" results for Member Card numbers, email captures, and gift card sales, or I'm gone at Barnes & Noble.

Yep. I may get fired in 4 weeks because no one wants to buy a Member card for $25 (um... economy still sucks) and people are paranoid about giving out email addresses (they don't want more spam!), and no one's thinking of getting gift cards yet because it's just November or they're going the cheap gift route this year (see aforementioned economy note).

Never mind that I've put in 4 years of my life into this job. This job has driven me insane (literally, there's a file somewhere), caused insomnia, mental breaks, anxiety attacks, and depressive states, but I still came back after every episode because I love my job. I love helping people find books, telling them about my favorite authors and books, and seeing the joy on a little kid's face when they get their own book in their own bag and carry it out of the store. Never mind my great customer service skills, dedication to the company, rapport with customers and fellow employees. Never mind that.

I may not have a job in 4 weeks because I can't get the insane percentage of Member card transactions corporate has declared we must get in this economic shitstorm. And never mind that one week were I got  .97% I was on customer services and barely touched the register.

Whatever. Fire me and the numerous other employees at my store who do their job well and get it done right, who are trustworthy and have been with the company for 1+ years. Fire them and hire people who may or may not live up to what you demand out of your employees. An interesting note: Out of the last crew we hired for the summer, I think only 5 stayed? And we had hired about 7-10? A lot of them just stopped showing up for work, or just didn't hack it for some reason. Yeah. Have fun hiring about 15 new people and keeping maybe 6? Maybe. That's a nice gamble my store, and Barnes & Noble likes to play. I hope all those new hires work out (sense my bitter fiery sarcasm?).

So yeah. Fuck you, Barnes & Noble. I'm going to hit up Target and see if they're hiring. Because I sure as hell know I can't meet those insane standards for numbers they believe we can get. No matter what new way I phrase the same old questions, I won't get that Member card. No one wants to spend extra money now. I hope my store laments firing me, and I know they will.

parts x-posted to

bn_booksellers

Okay, now that I have more time, I can properly explain my weird dream with French Avant Guard or Bohemian or something performers.

So somehow I'm in France, Paris to be exact. A friend and I are walking around this really bohemian/eccentric area of Paris with odd theaters and shops, boutiques and such of randomness. And somehow we stumble upon a cafe attached to a theater in this weird four-story-walk up and they are having an editing session. Somehow I am carrying the printed off manuscript to Through the Woods, and I hand it off to someone to edit it. My friend then drags me off to some clothing store and we're gone for a while.

I come back, looking for my manuscript (my friend has disappeared now), and I finally find one of the eccentric theater people reading it. I ask for it back, and the woman says "No, we're rehearsing." I ask what they're rehearsing, and she says "The Through the Woods play, it's amazing!" I tell her I wrote it and I hadn't meant it to be a play. She then calls all the theater people (think of how the people in the musical/movie Rent are dressed) into the room and they gush and go off on how amazing the play is going to be and how honored they are to meet the author. I'm flattered and they ask me to stay and help direct and make sure "their vision stays true to the essence of the story." I agree and somehow time flashes forward to a few weeks later and the final dress rehearsal is going on and a big snow storm is happening outside. The "vision" of the play is very performance art and interpretive dance inspired. Just weird, but it was brilliant in the dream. Since my friend has abandoned me in Paris, I had been staying in the odd upstairs apartments of the theater building, but they are all being used now by other actors. People offered me a place to stay at their flats, but this one guy, I think the actor who plays Liam in Through the Woods (if you read it, you'd know who that is!) says I can stay there.

Apparently through the whole rehearsal process, a weird unspoken attraction had built between us. He's tall and lean with reddish brown hair and these green-shaded John Lennon glasses and he's just gorgeous. Unknown to me another actor, this short, pudgy, moleish looking man had become obsessed with me (as the author of the "play") and now plotted against us being together. The next night is opening night and the house is packed and after the play and the numerous curtain calls, the actors call me out on stage to address the audience. I thank them for coming and then start gushing and crying because my dream of having a story I wrote come to life in such a dramatic and moving way was finally realized.

Then the heavy main curtain fell suddenly and I think it crushed me. I don't quite remember because I was startled awake by a caterwauling Diesel.

picture ganked from lele244

I mean, I'm grateful for what the medication has done to me---for me. I've been stable---consistently stable---for the last 3 years. But when I look back at what I used to do, creatively, back all those years ago... I feel something is missing. It didn't take hours of procrastination and debating and bargaining to want to write or draw. I would sit at the computer and type for hours, nonstop, without writer's block. I'd draw for hours... I can't really remember the last thing I drew within the last... 4 years. I don't draw anymore. It took me 4 years to finish Magic & Madness, true part of that time I was having the hardest phase of my depression and had to be partially hospitalized for a month... but it took me 1.5 years after that to finish the book. I feel that creative spark is... not gone.... but muffled. Hidden under a snuffer.

It just makes me think about what I'd be doing, what I'd accomplished without the medication.

Apparently Mitch Albom was in our Barnes & Noble Tuesday morning. You know, the guy who wrote such inspirational books as Tuesdays with Morrie, For One More Day, and The Five People You Meet In Heaven. Well, I guess he was touring around Barnes & Nobles looking at how his book newest book, Have a Little Faith, was displayed, because some authors spend big money to get their books displayed on their own tables and stuff like that.

But apparently, he was a real... well... "unpleasant person", in the words of booklady50, who had the (dis)pleasure of interacting with him. I wasn't there, I didn't work at BN yesterday, but I stopped in before heading over to Lane Bryant and chatted with her, and wow. Mitch Albom's kinda a prick. And a hypocrite. He and his little flunkie assistant were taking pictures of where his book was displayed and Mitch was pitching a fit because it wasn't displayed where he thought it should be---since he did pay B&N money to have his own table or something. But yeah, the whole time he was there, taking pictures of the misplacement of his books, apparently he was just a prick and was rude to booklady50 when she offered to get a manager for him to talk to. Quote: "Well, if it won't take too long." (and have that dripping with annoyance acid).

So... yeah. Here's this guy who is supposed to be the author of great inspirational books about changing your life for the better and all that... pitching a royal I'm-the-king-of-everything-cuz-I'm-the-author fit because his book wasn't in the spot it was supposed to be. booklady50 and I discussed how he could have handled that a lot better, in a more tactful way of letting his annoyance or confusion be known. Like so: "Oh, I was under the impression that my book was meant to be displayed as such. But it's not. Maybe I'll have my people call BN Corporate and figure this out." Simple, tactful, conveys the point without being a douche about it.

I've decided that I'm going to pull a Mitch Albom when I'm a successful author. Yeah.

x-posted to bn_booksellers

Over the last 2 weeks I've spent a lot of money on movies. Not buying DVDs, but going to see an actual movie in an actual movie theater. I went to go see Zombieland three times with friends, and each time it was great. Although, now, I think I'm all zombie'd out for now until the movie comes out on DVD. If you love zombies, you need to see this movie. It's funny, scary at times (I still jump out of my seat at certain parts after 3 viewings), and it's just a good fun movie to watch and eat popcorn to. I mean, it's zombies. Zombies can't be all that deep (despite what you try to achieve with your movies, Mr. Romero... zombies just aren't good for social commentary). I would place Zombieland in the same arena as Shaun of the Dead, scary, yet funny. Laugh-out-loud funny at parts. Especially the cameo toward the end of the movie. I won't tel you who the cameo is, since that would ruin it, but it was great. I was greatly pleased with it. On my scale of 1-10, I give Zombieland a solid 9.

Michael Buble (Boo-Blay) has a new CD out, Crazy Love, and I got it. Yay for Michael Buble! However... it's not that great. There are certain songs that are good but not enough to save the whole. Track #5, "Haven't Met You Yet" it cute and good, but his cover of Ray Charles' "Georgia On My Mind" is lacking that power and emotion that a) Ray had when he sang it, but 2nd) I've heard Michael sing powerfully on other CDs, and this whole CD is missing that emotion behind the songs. His last CD, Call Me Irresponsible, was great because it wasn't produced within an inch of its life, and he had power and passion to his voice. This CD is lacking, you can hear it in his voice. It's almost like "I'm not really going to try, because I know housewives will buy my CD anyway." And don't get me started on his cover of Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me a River". So much potential to that song!! And Michael doesn't even reach it. And I want to say that #9 "You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You" is a cover of a Sinatra song (but don't quote me on it, I've been wrong before). Michael Buble has done other Sinatra songs and this one just sucks. I mean... ugh. Fail. I give Crazy Love a 4.5 on my scale. Good, but, really, could have been a helluva lot better.

Got some writing done last night, which was good. But then I got super tired at 10pm (o.0) and went to bed. I fell asleep to Robot Chicken and discovered when I woke up Kiera had hopped up on my lap (with laptop) and settled down for a nap with me. I did get somewhere on chapter sixteen before I retired for the night, and added 1695 more words to Magic & Destiny. About a little less than 1/2 of the way to my weekly goal. Since I have this morning off from work, I might get some more down. I was on call this morning @ BN for a 9am shift, but didn't call in @ 8 to check... because I was still sleeping and woke up at 9am thinking I was working at Lane Bryant this morning... oops. They have yet to call me, so apparently they didn't need me. And I don't think the MODs know they have people for on call shifts anyway, so don't bother to check. Whatever. I'm not feeling good today, anyway. So I can relax until about 4, and go to Lane Bryant and work 4 hours there. Yay.

I'm really fighting the urge to go back to bed. I have stuff I really should be doing around here. Like picking up all the crap in my office. Sweeping off my deck because leaves, bird crap, and seeds aren't pretty. Do dishes. Write more. Finish Cell by Stephen King or finish Homer's Odyssey by Gwen Cooper... ugh. Right now sleep is winning.

I haven't written about Rogue Angel in a while. I've kinda stalled out in that series, due to other books lobbying for attention as well as writing my own books to sell to the reading masses. I'm such a dork that I downloaded all 22 available book covers because one day, somehow, I'll find a way to make a cool book cover collage out of all of them. But soon there will be book #22 (The Spirit Banner). Stupidly excited about it. And #21 Paradox comes out in November. But I haven't read #17-20 yet, so why am I so excited? Because I know they're coming, and I love the cover art. Another idiosyncrasy I have: when the next book in a series I am reading comes out, even if I'm not ready to read it, I must buy it. Dunno why. *le shrug* I also need to work on updating my Rogue Angel Icon batches. I think I only have up to... #16 made. I would have a RA Icon here, but the last one I used for Polar Quest wasn't all that great, and I already read that book. So I need to make new ones for the books I haven't read, and use them when I'm reading them. Yeah, I know, I'm a dork!

Speaking of books... sometime this week I need to get my bookshelves up from the garage and get my books back where they belong. I'm tired of having all my crap in boxes, so I'm just going to set up my house without painting. It's just taking too long to get painting done, especially with no one's schedules matching up to mine to help me paint and stuff. So... yeah. I need to have a functional house over paint right now. Once I get my books all organized, I can update my book lists in Excel and get that straightened out. I'm surprised I've lasted this long without organizing stuff. I think the mess of my house just overloaded my OCD and it just shut down. But now it's starting to wake up and I must organize!!

Kiera and Diesel are both "hiding" in my office. Kiera is on my folding chair, curled up all comfy, while Diesel is curled up in a purple collapsible cube thingy which has been his new sleeping place lately. An improvement from sleeping on top of the kitchen cabinets.

Well, I should wrap this up. I have to wake up @ 8am to call BN to see if I'm needed for a 9am on-call shift. WTF. I pray that I'm not needed. I need to sleep and clean and do laundry.

I thought of this list while I was at dad's doing laundry (again) because Kiera felt the need to pee on my bed (after I just got done washing those sheets and bed spread last night, so now the bedroom is Kitteh Free Zone for an indefinite time frame). I was watching on the Travel Channel a show called Ghost Adventures and it, of course, got me all creeped out. And got me thinking about the entity in dad's basement. Anyway, here's my list of weird things I do. Why I'm sharing, I dunno. Hopefully if you see me doing any one of these things, you'll remember this list and not think I'm too weird.

1. Count to 3 (let 3 steps pass) when I'm getting on a down escalator
2. Cross myself when I go down into dad's basement when I'm home by myself (because of the entity)
3. Insist on collecting all available color options of a lacey cami offered at Lane Bryant [this only shows 3 colors: Golden Palm, Peacoat Blue, Black but I also have it in: cream, lime green, lavender, royal purple, magenta, wine/burgundy, pale blue... I think that's all of them]
4. If I'm eating an onion ring (which is seldom) and the onion comes out of the batter part than just the bite-sized piece, I have to pull the whole thing out and just eat the breading
5. I pick out the white crunchy boney parts of lettuce in a sammich/burrito/salad
6. I walk up/down the basement stairs with my back to the wall (see #2)

I thought I had one or two more, but I guess they slipped away when I was driving home tonight. Oh well.

Does anyone know where I can get a statue of St. Francis de Sales? I need one for my office.

I think meowvatar would get a kick out of this:

Cake Wrecks is now available in book form!

Even though you can see it for free on Cake Wrecks over at Blogspot, but apparently there is "75% new wreckage" in the book (so saith the website). I saw this book at work and immediately thought of meowvatar. Then I went and shared it with other people at the registers (kinda against the rules since we're not supposed to read at the registers... bah.) and we shared in the horrible awesomeness.

So go to your fave bookstore and stock up on some epic wreckage today!

Despite being sick (Hello, my name is Typhoid Amy...) I will come up with a nice good list of happinesses to end this meme on.

1. sleeping in until 345pm because I guess I really needed it
2. getting Aquilla out of his scuzzy tank and into a clean, cute betta bowl on my desk
3. cuddling with Diesel for a while
4. writing and mailing a letter to my BIL who is in Georgia @ basic training
5. paying bills
6. getting a call from BN saying the book I had ordered has come in... and I don't remember what book it was I had ordered, so I will have a surprise on Thursday when I go back to work
7. having this strange desire to put together puzzles
8. not getting out of my pjs all day for nuthin!
9. finally putting into motion my Win a Free Copy of My Book Contest

I think that's it for now. My head feels like it's going to esplode and I can't breathe without my mouth being open (which makes it super sexy to watch me eat)... I think I will try to go to bed now. Maybe. I dunno. If I can stop sneezing long enough to take a breath, that might happen. Or I may pop in a movie and put together puzzles. And now I will leave you with an odd picture courtesy of I Can Has Cheezburger?

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

It is finally here! The official contest for winning a free signed copy of Magic & Madness! And it's super easy to win: just leave a comment here about your favorite book (or most interesting book read) and why I should read it. Something short, sweet, and to the point will do. Contest will run through Halloween and November 1st I'll pick the winner! How easy is that? Need more visual aids? Here:

draygnfaerie left a comment:
You should read Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis because it is just disturbing, hilarious, and a brutally honest jab at all that is wrong with America.

Short. Sweet. To the point.

Now this contest is running on LiveJournal, Facebook, and Twitter. If you don't have a LiveJournal ID and leave an anonymous comment, make sure to have your Facebook or Twitter ID so I can Direct Message you if you won! Or email addresses work as well. Just make sure I can contact you!

Attention Facebook Users: This post will RSS/mirror onto Facebook as a Note. DO NOT COMMENT THERE. Those comment entries will not count. All viable entires will be taken from the LiveJournal/original post. Follow link at the bottom of the note to get to original post and comment away!

LiveJournal ID: draygnfaerie
Facebook ID: http://www.facebook.com/ladytrebuchet
Twitter ID: http://twitter.com/amylgregg

• Having a great first experience at the MBA this morning, and giving away 25 of my books to potential bookstores so they will stock my book!
• Just waking up from a 5 hour nap... o.0
• Getting an ARC (advance reader copy) of Soulless by Gail Carriger at the MBA convention today! I had lusted after it @ work when I was shelving in sci-fi last night. The publisher had a table at MBA, and the rep saw me eying it and looking longingly at it, so he said I could have it (it's really for bookstore reps... but yay!)

• Helping a very attractive man at B&N with a deliciously deep and velvety voice *le swoon*
• Having girls' night out with the LB ladies!
  
• Getting a Cthulhu themed link/Tweet from booklady50

Even though the meme said to list one thing, I will list many:

1. Seeing my book on the shelf in the Sci-Fi section at work
2. Seeing that there are copies of my book in the warehouses of B&N (go order it now!)
3. Kiera lounging contentedly on my rug in my office as I wrote last night.

EDIT 1223am 9-25-09: 4. My book being available for order on bn.com. *le squee!*

Today my dad and I moved my desk and dresser over to my new place from his house. My office is looking more like an office now! Yay! And I even organized some of my scrapbooking stuff and albums. Hopefully I'll have some time to work on them... like the next week? My hours have been cut severely at B&N, so I work Wednesday (tomorrow), Thursday, then next Thursday. I was supposed to work Sunday, but I switched it with someone else so I can go to my family's big family birthday celebration thingy. And my shifts at Lane Bryant aren't much better... so... yeah. I'll have a little time on my hands in the next few days... I may have to fill it with writing.

Some of you may or may not know that I have a new cat. My friend Sunny's aunt had to get rid of her cats, so I offered to take one. His given name is Lane, but I've changed it to Diesel because he grows like an engine revving. Yeah. He's adjusting a little slow, and he spends most of his time behind my washer/dryer unit, only to come out at 230 in the morning and jump up on stuff---then knocking it over because it wasn't meant for a kitty to jump on it. Like my stereo speaker last night... at 430am... along with a stack of DVD box sets. Yeah. I bet my downstairs neighbor was ready to kill me. But Diesel and I had a little chat, and he even calmed down enough to head-butt my knee and let me pet him and love on him. When he had enough of that, he slinked off to the washer/dryer and disappeared. Haven't seen or heard of him since this morning. Oh well. I guess he'll come out when he's ready.

Kiera is nervous, walking back and forth now for most of the day, only going out to the living room or kitchen if I'm around, because Diesel hissed/raunched at her Monday morning. So she's wary of him, but also curious. I think she knows he's in the kitchen somewhere, and goes in there sometimes, but then runs back out, afraid he's going attack or something. Poor old girl. She's unsure how to handle Diesel, and doesn't understand why I brought home such a little punk kitty.

Okay, so I know that a lot of you have been wondering when you can get your hands on a copy of my book. Well, it's still going to take a few weeks to get it into the stores, and right now I am the only person in existence who has copies of it. So you're best bet is to just buy it from me if you can't wait. I've devised a little payment grid for those interested:

Normal price + tax For everyone
$14.95 + Carver County tax = $15.97

Barnes & Noble Member + tax For those who would have boughten it @ B&N w/ discount card
($14.95 x .90) = $13.46 + Carver Co Tax = $14.37

B&N Employee For all my coworker friends!
($14.95 x .70) = $10.47 + Carver Co Tax = $11.18

So there you have it. If you can't absolutely wait until it's in stores, you can buy it from me. I take cash and checks. =^_^=

Otherwise... please stop asking when it'll be in stores. I don't know. And I doubt my publisher will know anytime soon. They tend to be a bit slow. I'll let you know when I know.

Oh, my happy thing today for Day 2 is that I have my desk finally!

Ganked from tribalw0lf & meowvatar

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it’s just a small thing.
2. Do this every day for eight days without fail.
3. Tag eight (or as many as you want) of your friends to do the same. (Or don't, if you don't like tagging people.)

Thing that made me happy was...

Being the first one to buy the new Golden Palm lacey tank at Lane Bryant today cuz I did freight and found it first! =^_^=